So I’m driving down the road on my way to work. Around 7:00am, my normal hour of departure. It’s a bit early, however I like to beat the traffic and anyone who makes that commute everyday can tell you three or four minutes can make all the difference in the world for Naples road traffic.
I’m just moseying along following my normal routine, I’m not a fast driver nor do I weave in and out of traffic. Most days I immediately get into the right lane and I am content to stay right there until it’s time to turn.
This particular morning, I’m following a lawn service truck towing a large service trailer and it is traveling very slow. I cannot see beyond it so I get into the middle lane to pass only to see two more lawn maintenance trucks attached to two other huge service trailers.
To overtake three of them will require speed and maneuverability. I look around and we (lawn maintenance guys and me)seem to be the only folks on the road. I see traffic in my rear view mirror but its way behind me. I don’t see much traffic in front of me, however I’m coming to several traffic lights soon so if I’m going to do it, I better make my move before we come to a big intersection.
Another look around and I’m off. I pass the first one no problem and I’m side by side of the next one. I overtake the second one when I realize I’m close to the next traffic light so I need to get past him in a hurry. I punch it, go around, get into the right lane and boom!
In my rear view mirror, the flashing lights, the blaring siren and I’m being stopped by a Florida Highway Patrol Trooper by the name of D. Scott.
Oh crap. I’m so-o-o going to get a ticket.
So here’s the thing, and I know others have experienced this:
Where do these police cruisers come from?!
One minute I’m looking in all directions at a relatively empty road, the next minute the lights are flashing and the sirens are blaring and Trooper Scott is two inches from my bumper synchronizing with each mile per hour of mine.
I guess he thought I was going to make a break for it, because he was on me like white on rice! If I would have hit my brakes at that moment we both would have spun out of control and something way more serious than a speeding ticket would have occurred.
But let me get back to my original thought. How do these guys (policeman) hide themselves so well before they move in for the strike?
Have you seen that commercial where the policemen are totally camouflaged, blending in with the buildings and the street and they don’t become visible until they stop the drunk driver? That’s the way it was for me and I was sober as a judge!
How do they do that?!
If there are any Star Trek fans out there, this is what I think. I believe the government shot down a Romulan Bird of Prey in 1963 and have housed the wreckage in Nevada at Area 51.
As the technicians were scrutinizing the remains of the ship, they stumble upon the exclusive Romulan cloaking technology, mastered it and have installed it in police cars all over the country.
If you think I’m being paranoid, just wait until a police car with the lights flashing and siren blaring, suddenly “uncloaks” in your rearview mirror when there was nothing out there just a moment before!
(This is where Captain Kirk shouts, “Shields up! Red alert! Sulu, get us out-a-here!”)
Trooper Scott handed me a ticket with my name on it and it states I was going 65 in a 45 mile per hour speed limit. I was traveling on Tamiami Trail and it was a 55mph zone when I started to pass the lawn maintenance convoy. When I passed the last one, I swear, Trooper Scott hit his siren at the very moment we passed a 45mph speed limit sign.
Bottom line, I was speeding. At what rate and what speed zone, I have to take Trooper Scott’s word on that.
Personally, I don’t think I’ve gone 65 miles per hour since 1973. I’m that driver in front of you that is always going slow and making you mad because you have places to go and not much time to get there!
I’m a defensive driver and I try to be a safe driver. I’m not into speed driving, and I can’t remember the last time I got a ticket. It’s been well over 30 years ago, maybe longer.
But here I am, two hundred and seventy eight dollars later. Yes, I paid it. I have to wonder if Trooper Scott realized how many hard hours I have to work to clear two hundred and seventy eight dollars, if it would have made any difference? Probably not.
Obviously a good driving record makes no difference and I guess the saddest part, (well after paying out what amounts to a fortune for me) my perfect driving record is not perfect anymore!
At the end of the day, I take full responsibility. I was speeding, no doubt. I will take my medicine and be more careful in the future.
Speeders beware: with the Romulan cloaking technology out there, you can speed but you can’t hide.
One thing Trooper Scott. I may or may not have been wearing my seat belt when you stopped me, you didn’t notice or mention a seat belt. Now you’ll never know…..BWAHAHAHAHAH!